My wife and I went to the store this morning during the "special" hours laid out for seniors. As one might expect, the aisles for toilet paper and paper towels were bare. It was incredible to note what had become as precious as gold and what had become as common as dirt.
But, what bothered me most was the attitude of my senior "peeps." We who have endured some things - Vietnam, natural disasters, 9-11 and others - were scurrying around like frightened mice. There was nary a smile to be seen in the store. You couldn't make eye contact until you were rammed by another's cart. I wanted to shout, "I'm six-feet away; how about a smile!"
I finally joked with the clerk as we checked out. He had his own restrictions in bagging our food so we kidded him that we'd send him the bill. We finally got a chuckle.
I realize this might be my own reaction to the invisible, but ever-present pressure we all face. I am thankful when I get a wave from a neighbor who is out for a walk or a head nod from a person driving down the street. It lifts the weight of feeling alone in all of this.
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Monday, February 17, 2020
Sadness
It took my breath away. It was a small article on my Sacramento news feed of a soccer coach who had been arrested for sexual crimes against a minor. I know that man!
The crimes with which he is charged are heinous and reprehensible. He failed and abused those whom he was to mentor. He betrayed the trust given him by parents and players. He brought inexpressible hurt to this girl, to her family, to his family, to the soccer community, to his friends and to himself. There is no excuse for this type of behavior, although there may be a reason. The penalty that will come if this crime is found to be true is well-deserved and should be thorough and complete.
Yet, I know this man. Obviously not as deeply as I imagined, nevertheless, I called him "friend." We shared some laughs together along with some tasks. We encouraged and consoled each other as we labored together in a common project. He was able to help me with a problem I had at my church by providing some needed equipment and materials.
Again, I know this man. And, what I am finding equally reprehensible is the slaughtering he is taking on social media. People, like me, who had many things in common, have tied an anchor and chain around him, and tossed him into the deep. I get that they don't want to be connected to someone who would do such horrendous things, but to then disavow all contact seems disingenuous. The vitriol that has emerged prompted me to glean my "friends" list in FaceBook and other places.
I know this man. He has hurt and harmed a girl and her family irrevocably. He has castrated his own support system - his family and friends. Yet, I will still pray for him. I will pray that God, in His perfect mixture of justice and compassion - will find and give mercy and grace to this man. My prayer is that he come humble and repentant to the only one who can give real forgiveness and restoration.
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
"Back in the Saddle, Again!"
When you have time on your hands, what do you do? I start writing again on the blog I had given up some years ago. Again, who reads this? Who knows and does it really matter? If no one else sees it, it still matters to me. It is still - in a way - pen to paper with my thoughts and continuing the practice of trying to make sense of my life for myself.
I have just finished a 27-month stint as the interim pastor for the Clovis Evangelical Free Church. I rented an apartment in Clovis (near Fresno, CA) and spend most of my time there, only returning to Citrus Heights every 10-14 days. My wife, Judy, would venture down for brief visits as her work as the District Nurse for the Robla School District allowed.
I realize I put on "hold" many of the good things that were coming after my retirement as the pastor of the First Evangelical Free Church. I left a fun ministry with Hope Church (Oak Park area of Sacramento), although they still sought my counsel on a lot of items. I set aside my work with the Robla School District as a substitute teacher. I also let my involvement with Citrus Heights Kiwanis and Citrus Heights Soccer Club wane.
Was it worth it? This is hard to quantify and qualify. I certainly enjoyed the routine of sermon preparation and presentation. I also enjoyed helping the church leaders work through different issues in preparation for a new senior pastor. Yet, at the same time, I had a lot of my own anxieties and wounds opened up. Graciously, God had me in a better place so that I had resources both divine and human to withstand some of the internal and external pressures.
So, what next? I don't really know. Athletes talk about letting the "game come to them." They see the unfolding of the pattern as players race down the court or field and then they make a decision. This seems a bit of what I'm doing. Waiting. Trying to wait in a way that shows my maturity in Christ rather than how I've waited in decades past. Following God's direction rather than insisting that He follow me.
I have just finished a 27-month stint as the interim pastor for the Clovis Evangelical Free Church. I rented an apartment in Clovis (near Fresno, CA) and spend most of my time there, only returning to Citrus Heights every 10-14 days. My wife, Judy, would venture down for brief visits as her work as the District Nurse for the Robla School District allowed.
I realize I put on "hold" many of the good things that were coming after my retirement as the pastor of the First Evangelical Free Church. I left a fun ministry with Hope Church (Oak Park area of Sacramento), although they still sought my counsel on a lot of items. I set aside my work with the Robla School District as a substitute teacher. I also let my involvement with Citrus Heights Kiwanis and Citrus Heights Soccer Club wane.
Was it worth it? This is hard to quantify and qualify. I certainly enjoyed the routine of sermon preparation and presentation. I also enjoyed helping the church leaders work through different issues in preparation for a new senior pastor. Yet, at the same time, I had a lot of my own anxieties and wounds opened up. Graciously, God had me in a better place so that I had resources both divine and human to withstand some of the internal and external pressures.
So, what next? I don't really know. Athletes talk about letting the "game come to them." They see the unfolding of the pattern as players race down the court or field and then they make a decision. This seems a bit of what I'm doing. Waiting. Trying to wait in a way that shows my maturity in Christ rather than how I've waited in decades past. Following God's direction rather than insisting that He follow me.
Friday, October 14, 2016
Much has changed over these last few years. I have semi-retired, stepping down as pastor of the First Evangelical Free Church of Sacramento after 21 1/2 years. I helped with the transition to the new pastor - Curt Parton - a fine man who will do a wonderful job. I'm keeping my hand in things by accepting the position as Coordinator of Credentialing for the Western District, EFCA. I will be helping people as they pursue licensing and ordination through the Free Church. I've also had the privilege of preaching in several churches, filling-in for their pastor for the week.
Another big change is accepting a position as a substitute teacher for the Robla Elementary School District. My wife, who is the nurse for the school district, encouraged me to try. I was skeptical at first because my background in education is very sparse. Nevertheless, I went through the process and encountered a delightful question when I interviewed. "Would you be willing to be a substitute at the preschool?"
Back in my days in seminary, I had a job working for Trinity Lutheran Church Preschool in Norwalk, CA. I was originally hired to fill the need of "a janitor with a music background". They wanted someone to develop a music program for the afternoon and then clean the preschool. That became almost three years of tremendous fun!
Fast forward to 2015 and I am working in grades preschool through 6th and having a blast. I think the most encouraging thing about this position is the blend of two ideas. First, I get to encourage and help kids, which is always a favorite of mine. But, second, it's short-term. I work for a day or maybe a week in a classroom. I get to do all the fun aspects of teaching. (Let me tell you that I am in awe of today's teachers! They have to do so much more than read a story or figure out math problems. They are on the front-lines of nurturing and developing the next generation).
Soccer is still a big part of my life ... although I find this year it's becoming a drag. I am now coaching two teams. The first - the Citrus Heights Dolphins - is in their seventh year with me. We started as 6-7 year olds and girls are now 13-14. Each year, I have sent 2-4 players up to play at a more competitive level, but this means adding new players each year. This year we had a 50% changeover from another team and we've had a tough time integrating the two teams. We're getting there, but it takes constant attention.
My other team is the Citrus Heights Mighty Pandas - a team of 4-5 year-old boys ad girls, all who have never played soccer on a regular team. We've spent most of our year learning which way to go, not playing the ball with our hands, and learning the boundaries of the field. One of my more consistent players has three goals ... all in the opponent's goal!
This means that soccer refereeing has taken a hit. With the changes made by U.S. Youth Soccer, there is not a need for referees before the level of U10. The changes in field size and team size still allows me to work with the younger kids, but now it's just a matter of time.
Another big change is accepting a position as a substitute teacher for the Robla Elementary School District. My wife, who is the nurse for the school district, encouraged me to try. I was skeptical at first because my background in education is very sparse. Nevertheless, I went through the process and encountered a delightful question when I interviewed. "Would you be willing to be a substitute at the preschool?"
Back in my days in seminary, I had a job working for Trinity Lutheran Church Preschool in Norwalk, CA. I was originally hired to fill the need of "a janitor with a music background". They wanted someone to develop a music program for the afternoon and then clean the preschool. That became almost three years of tremendous fun!
Fast forward to 2015 and I am working in grades preschool through 6th and having a blast. I think the most encouraging thing about this position is the blend of two ideas. First, I get to encourage and help kids, which is always a favorite of mine. But, second, it's short-term. I work for a day or maybe a week in a classroom. I get to do all the fun aspects of teaching. (Let me tell you that I am in awe of today's teachers! They have to do so much more than read a story or figure out math problems. They are on the front-lines of nurturing and developing the next generation).
Soccer is still a big part of my life ... although I find this year it's becoming a drag. I am now coaching two teams. The first - the Citrus Heights Dolphins - is in their seventh year with me. We started as 6-7 year olds and girls are now 13-14. Each year, I have sent 2-4 players up to play at a more competitive level, but this means adding new players each year. This year we had a 50% changeover from another team and we've had a tough time integrating the two teams. We're getting there, but it takes constant attention.
My other team is the Citrus Heights Mighty Pandas - a team of 4-5 year-old boys ad girls, all who have never played soccer on a regular team. We've spent most of our year learning which way to go, not playing the ball with our hands, and learning the boundaries of the field. One of my more consistent players has three goals ... all in the opponent's goal!
This means that soccer refereeing has taken a hit. With the changes made by U.S. Youth Soccer, there is not a need for referees before the level of U10. The changes in field size and team size still allows me to work with the younger kids, but now it's just a matter of time.
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Starting Again
It's been almost three years since my last post. The reason has not been that I've had nothing occur in my life. In fact, it's just the opposite. I've had two sons graduate from prestigious universities and move on to greater achievements. My soccer team - YOUR Citrus Heights Dolphins - has grown up a bit (we're now playing at the U12 level), but still are a delight. The beautiful Mrs. Coach is still as exciting and entrancing as the day we were married.
I suppose it had to do with the "busy-ness" of life. I allow it to crowd me off the ball and take my game in a whole new direction. The quickness of Facebook and Twitter - with their instant messages - makes it seem like I am really thinking as I move through life.
The reality is that I am on the cusp of some big decisions. In some ways, it feels just like it did when I graduated from seminary. Where am I going? What do I want to do? After 20+ years as the lead pastor at the First Evangelical Free Church of Sacramento, I feed that I - along with the church - need a change. Just to hear myself say that or read it in print makes me head feel like it's going to explode. The next steps for the last two decades have been fairly well laid out, but now a fog has rolled in and the path is not as clear.
Yet, I still have aspects of God's grace all around me. I have a great family, although the sons will be on the east coast as they move ahead in their own training. I still get to coach the best soccer team in the world (sorry, Jurgen Klinsmann, Lionel Messi, et. al.). I am still faster than a 12-year-old soccer player ... and much more crafty. I still have a God who delights in me and enjoys me. These are not bad places from which to turn the page and start a new chapter in life.
I suppose it had to do with the "busy-ness" of life. I allow it to crowd me off the ball and take my game in a whole new direction. The quickness of Facebook and Twitter - with their instant messages - makes it seem like I am really thinking as I move through life.
The reality is that I am on the cusp of some big decisions. In some ways, it feels just like it did when I graduated from seminary. Where am I going? What do I want to do? After 20+ years as the lead pastor at the First Evangelical Free Church of Sacramento, I feed that I - along with the church - need a change. Just to hear myself say that or read it in print makes me head feel like it's going to explode. The next steps for the last two decades have been fairly well laid out, but now a fog has rolled in and the path is not as clear.
Yet, I still have aspects of God's grace all around me. I have a great family, although the sons will be on the east coast as they move ahead in their own training. I still get to coach the best soccer team in the world (sorry, Jurgen Klinsmann, Lionel Messi, et. al.). I am still faster than a 12-year-old soccer player ... and much more crafty. I still have a God who delights in me and enjoys me. These are not bad places from which to turn the page and start a new chapter in life.
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