I finished up officiating league play here in Citrus Heights, CA today. I had at U-14 boys recreational match and a U-14 girls recreational level match. It was curious that the more physical play was on the part of the girls. They would work to establish position by throwing out arms and elbows. I had to blow the whistle a number of times within the first five minutes of the match to get them to settle down. Even then, I gave a verbal warning to one player for persistent infringement (She settled down for the rest of the match and played quite well).
The boys match had some interesting grumbling. I heard a defender mumble "Why do they let these old men referee anyway?" I'm 57 and Paul is over 60 (Logan our other AR is 19), but we could still beat most of those kids down field. When a ball went out of touch, I asked the player, "Did you intend for me to hear that comment? Because, if you did, I would have to act on it." He was strangely silent after that, although I did get an occasional "glare."
It's interesting to watch players and coaches snipe and complain at referees, and then become indignant when we actually respond with cards or warnings. If you don't want us to hear it, don't say it. If you want us to hear it, get ready for the consequences.
Still, setting aside the few players who made themselves miserable, it was a good day for soccer. We had a good laugh when one of our younger officials came racing off the field in the middle of his game. His dash was to the port-o-potties and his return was greeted with cheers from players and fans. We will not soon let him forget it!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Betwixt and Between
It was inevitable, but I still didn't see it coming. It is one of those incidents in life that throw most people (including me) into an emotional tailspin. In the morning, I'm listening to someone share how helpful I've been in their life. They thanked me for the effort I had put in on their behalf. In the afternoon, I received word that someone else was extremely disappointed in me because they felt I had abandoned them.
At least for me (because I tend to be a "glass, half-empty" type of guy), the praise of the morning was eclipsed by the criticism of the afternoon. I'm vulnerable when this type of criticism comes because I am always second-guessing myself. What more can I do? How much more effort do I need? The standard for success - or acceptance - seems always to be changing. I have to fight down the feeling that I am "bad" because I don't measure up to someone else's expectations. It makes me want to avoid them.
I remind myself that I have failed the Lord many times, yet He still loves me. He loves me not for what I do, but because of who I am based on what His Son did in my place. At first, this thought seems like pulling up a tattered blanket on a cold winter night. It provides scant warmth. But, where else do you go? I can spout my feeling of being treated unfairly to others, but that only sets people up for being polarized. I can try to justify myself, but those who have brought the criticism will not be open to listening.
It is only God, who knows and understands all motives, who can bring peace and healing.
At least for me (because I tend to be a "glass, half-empty" type of guy), the praise of the morning was eclipsed by the criticism of the afternoon. I'm vulnerable when this type of criticism comes because I am always second-guessing myself. What more can I do? How much more effort do I need? The standard for success - or acceptance - seems always to be changing. I have to fight down the feeling that I am "bad" because I don't measure up to someone else's expectations. It makes me want to avoid them.
I remind myself that I have failed the Lord many times, yet He still loves me. He loves me not for what I do, but because of who I am based on what His Son did in my place. At first, this thought seems like pulling up a tattered blanket on a cold winter night. It provides scant warmth. But, where else do you go? I can spout my feeling of being treated unfairly to others, but that only sets people up for being polarized. I can try to justify myself, but those who have brought the criticism will not be open to listening.
It is only God, who knows and understands all motives, who can bring peace and healing.
2 Samuel 12-13
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Noble and Base
Humans are a curious combination of that which is noble and that which is base. In just a few chapters of 2 Samuel, we see this portrayed in the life of David, King of Israel. He takes into his care Mephibosheth, the crippled son of his former adversary, Saul. He makes a place at the royal table for him. I imagine that ever after when the dinner bell would ring and the David's courtiers would gather, here would come Mephibosheth. He would limp to the table, but there would be a grin on his face (and soul) because he was an object of grace.
Then, just two chapters later, we uncover the tawdry tale of David and Bathsheba. This is David at his worst - lustful, scheming. He panics when his cover-up doesn't go the way he planned and sends an innocent man to his death.
Although not to this degree, I can easily be "David." There are moments where the Spirit of God brings out the best. I move in a manner for which God created me. Then, there are those times - both deliberate and unintentional - when I seize control of the reins of my life and ride off into stupidity.
The only thing that saves me is God's enduring grace. It's His grace that chases me down and shows me the sin - the error of my ways. It's His grace that allows the consequences of my actions to turn be back to Him. He will not allow me to keep going in a direction away from Him because He loves and delights in me.
Then, just two chapters later, we uncover the tawdry tale of David and Bathsheba. This is David at his worst - lustful, scheming. He panics when his cover-up doesn't go the way he planned and sends an innocent man to his death.
Although not to this degree, I can easily be "David." There are moments where the Spirit of God brings out the best. I move in a manner for which God created me. Then, there are those times - both deliberate and unintentional - when I seize control of the reins of my life and ride off into stupidity.
The only thing that saves me is God's enduring grace. It's His grace that chases me down and shows me the sin - the error of my ways. It's His grace that allows the consequences of my actions to turn be back to Him. He will not allow me to keep going in a direction away from Him because He loves and delights in me.
2 Samuel 9-11
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Pulled
I was thinking today about how I am pulled in so many directions in life. I was reading an article about the use of the latest technology in ministry and, at the same time, I'm thinking about how it is been quite a while since I got away for a day of prayer and silence. One part of me likes and appreciates the gadgets of technology, but the other side sees how they can really interfere.
It's easy at this point to say that one has to have "discipline." Having discipline in a specific area is easy, if you enjoy that area. If it is an arena of struggle, then it becomes "discipline."
This is one reason why I cringe at the view of the Christian life as some terrestrial cruise. You wander around this huge ship being entertained and having all your needs met. There are no storms and if there are financial issues, you just need to have more faith.
Reality says that problems exist and life "sucks." The concept of "happily every after" is one for fairy tales. Reality says that life is a journey, a pilgrimage, through a land that is not really our own.
It takes a lot of time and contemplation to get back to what is really "me." I'm sure there are people who can do it in a split second, but I have to sit and think. Is what am I doing ... is how I'm thinking really me or just something that has been shoved at me by others?
2 Samuel 7:18 (NIV) Then King David went in and sat before the LORD, and he said: "Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?"
It's easy at this point to say that one has to have "discipline." Having discipline in a specific area is easy, if you enjoy that area. If it is an arena of struggle, then it becomes "discipline."
This is one reason why I cringe at the view of the Christian life as some terrestrial cruise. You wander around this huge ship being entertained and having all your needs met. There are no storms and if there are financial issues, you just need to have more faith.
Reality says that problems exist and life "sucks." The concept of "happily every after" is one for fairy tales. Reality says that life is a journey, a pilgrimage, through a land that is not really our own.
It takes a lot of time and contemplation to get back to what is really "me." I'm sure there are people who can do it in a split second, but I have to sit and think. Is what am I doing ... is how I'm thinking really me or just something that has been shoved at me by others?
2 Samuel 7:18 (NIV) Then King David went in and sat before the LORD, and he said: "Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?"
2 Samuel 7-8
Friday, November 6, 2009
Propinquity
My wife, Judy, and I tried an old exercise with a new twist. We put an executive chair together - one of those comfy, tilt and turn models. Early in our marriage, we would find ourselves at odds whenever we had to work together. I am one for reading the instructions (many times) and then going methodically through the steps. Judy, on the other hand, is much more intuitive - "Directions? We don't need no stinkin' directions!" It led to many a frustrating experience as the main issue would get confused and we would be frustrated.
The main issue is to enjoy ourselves. The construction or building of something takes second place. Yes, either one of us could probably have done it faster according to our own lights, but we would have lost that sense of propinquity (just being in the moment together).
The chair is finished and I now reside in relative comfort when I work from home. But, the memory of a job and a moment well done will last a lot longer.
The main issue is to enjoy ourselves. The construction or building of something takes second place. Yes, either one of us could probably have done it faster according to our own lights, but we would have lost that sense of propinquity (just being in the moment together).
The chair is finished and I now reside in relative comfort when I work from home. But, the memory of a job and a moment well done will last a lot longer.
2 Samuel 4-6
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Refereeing a Friendly
A "friendly" is a soccer match between two teams with nothing really at stake. It's more European-speak for an exhibition game. I say that because the play can often be anything but friendly.
But, yesterday I refereed a "friendly" with a whole different spirit. It was an elementary school match between Vacaville Christians School and Southpointe Christian School. Southpointe is in south Sacramento, an area that is known for limited incomes and opportunity. Vacaville, on the other hand, is a fairly well-to-do school in an upscale neighborhood.
But, you couldn't tell the difference out on the pitch. The kids were bright-eyed and brought a curious mixture of intensity and sympathy to the game. They still tried hard to work the ball up and down the field. Goals and shots on goal were greeted with assorted cheers and groans. But, there was also a different dimension.
I don't know if any of the spectators caught it because the numerous incidents were so fleeting. A player would go down, a foul would happen or a ball ricocheted off a head and you immediately heard this from the opposing team, "Hey, are you okay?" Usually before I got back to check on the player, there was someone from the other team helping them to their feet or just asking if all the marbles were still in the brain.
I needed a match like this one. After spending the last two weeks mainly officiating whining coaches and players, it was like a breath of fresh air. Sure, there might be only one out of the two dozen or so kids that might go on to a club team ... but, so what? It was nice to see and be reminded that this is a "game!"
But, yesterday I refereed a "friendly" with a whole different spirit. It was an elementary school match between Vacaville Christians School and Southpointe Christian School. Southpointe is in south Sacramento, an area that is known for limited incomes and opportunity. Vacaville, on the other hand, is a fairly well-to-do school in an upscale neighborhood.
But, you couldn't tell the difference out on the pitch. The kids were bright-eyed and brought a curious mixture of intensity and sympathy to the game. They still tried hard to work the ball up and down the field. Goals and shots on goal were greeted with assorted cheers and groans. But, there was also a different dimension.
I don't know if any of the spectators caught it because the numerous incidents were so fleeting. A player would go down, a foul would happen or a ball ricocheted off a head and you immediately heard this from the opposing team, "Hey, are you okay?" Usually before I got back to check on the player, there was someone from the other team helping them to their feet or just asking if all the marbles were still in the brain.
I needed a match like this one. After spending the last two weeks mainly officiating whining coaches and players, it was like a breath of fresh air. Sure, there might be only one out of the two dozen or so kids that might go on to a club team ... but, so what? It was nice to see and be reminded that this is a "game!"
2 Samuel 2-3
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Out of Sync
The last few days have felt "out of sync." I know that this is not a very good description, but it is a very good feeling. Synonyms might be "out of tune," or "out of rhythm." It means that one is still playing, but something just isn't going/feeling right.
It might be that in a space of ten days I officiated 12 soccer matches. They were not international level matches, for sure. In fact, most of them were Under-12's and lower. Furthermore, the issue is not even how well or poorly I did in those matches. The issue is my recovery time. I pushed myself through a five-match tournament this weekend and found myself drained. I had enough energy to watch television and that was it. I was pretty uncommunicative around the house. When Sunday came, whatever reserves I had managed to upload were soon exhausted at church. If I was a computer, I would have been in sleep mode for the rest of the day.
A friend offered a word that I've heard before about running myself ragged. At first, I pushed back on the idea. But after second (and third) thoughts, I realized it was not so much a criticism as it was a statement of reality. I just don't have the reserves that I had when I was younger.
Even as I type those words, there's an ominous feeling to them. It means that I am still heading into largely uncharted waters. This can be frustrating because at this time of my life I had hoped for more clarity and confidence. Hadn't my father seemed so confident and assured at this age? Or, was he just as "out of sync?"
The result is that I must not try harder. This is usually the advice given to all situation where discouragement is felt. Trying harder just leads to more frustration. It's time to step back and re-group. It's time to admit limitations and learn to live with a new normal.
Although intimidating, the resources are still the same. There is nothing that can separate me for the love of God in Christ Jesus. He still holds me securely. I still have all of what He has promised. I just have to adjust the focus of my life's picture.
It might be that in a space of ten days I officiated 12 soccer matches. They were not international level matches, for sure. In fact, most of them were Under-12's and lower. Furthermore, the issue is not even how well or poorly I did in those matches. The issue is my recovery time. I pushed myself through a five-match tournament this weekend and found myself drained. I had enough energy to watch television and that was it. I was pretty uncommunicative around the house. When Sunday came, whatever reserves I had managed to upload were soon exhausted at church. If I was a computer, I would have been in sleep mode for the rest of the day.
A friend offered a word that I've heard before about running myself ragged. At first, I pushed back on the idea. But after second (and third) thoughts, I realized it was not so much a criticism as it was a statement of reality. I just don't have the reserves that I had when I was younger.
Even as I type those words, there's an ominous feeling to them. It means that I am still heading into largely uncharted waters. This can be frustrating because at this time of my life I had hoped for more clarity and confidence. Hadn't my father seemed so confident and assured at this age? Or, was he just as "out of sync?"
The result is that I must not try harder. This is usually the advice given to all situation where discouragement is felt. Trying harder just leads to more frustration. It's time to step back and re-group. It's time to admit limitations and learn to live with a new normal.
Although intimidating, the resources are still the same. There is nothing that can separate me for the love of God in Christ Jesus. He still holds me securely. I still have all of what He has promised. I just have to adjust the focus of my life's picture.
2 Samuel 1
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)