When I try to access a website, my Internet Explorer says "connecting." It's more of a wish than a statement. It's really saying "I'm doing my best to connect ... but we won't know for a second or two."
I've felt disconnected from a lot of things in recent days, especially God. It's not a major "I'm losing my faith" type of disconnect. It's the lack of connection that comes with changing seasons and busy schedules. I wrapped up my Fall-Winter refereeing season a few weeks ago. I do get a great level of enjoyment out of it ... I was ready to stop. It could be that District Cup coincides with one of my busiest times as a pastor. Heartache and sorrow seem to ramp up during Christmas rather than taking a vacation. Over the years, I've realized that I can only take so much. This goes against the grain of my thinking that I have to be some type of "uber-pastor" who - much like the Energizer Bunny - just keeps going and going. I have to take breaks.
And, the breaks also coincide with a desire to reconnect with God. I am well aware that it is never the case of God moving away from me. How can an omnipresent God be anywhere else but right here? It is my awareness that ebbs and flows. I am so very thankful that He does not treat me like a teenager who has missed his curfew. Instead, He allows me the joy of His presence, realizing that the consequences of being disconnected are enough to drive me back to Him.
I've felt disconnected from a lot of things in recent days, especially God. It's not a major "I'm losing my faith" type of disconnect. It's the lack of connection that comes with changing seasons and busy schedules. I wrapped up my Fall-Winter refereeing season a few weeks ago. I do get a great level of enjoyment out of it ... I was ready to stop. It could be that District Cup coincides with one of my busiest times as a pastor. Heartache and sorrow seem to ramp up during Christmas rather than taking a vacation. Over the years, I've realized that I can only take so much. This goes against the grain of my thinking that I have to be some type of "uber-pastor" who - much like the Energizer Bunny - just keeps going and going. I have to take breaks.
And, the breaks also coincide with a desire to reconnect with God. I am well aware that it is never the case of God moving away from me. How can an omnipresent God be anywhere else but right here? It is my awareness that ebbs and flows. I am so very thankful that He does not treat me like a teenager who has missed his curfew. Instead, He allows me the joy of His presence, realizing that the consequences of being disconnected are enough to drive me back to Him.
2 Samuel 14-15
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